Life on Marz

People always remember how you made them feel.

This picture hangs in my office at home and in this Mental Health Awareness week, it reminded me of the importance of our behaviour in the workplace and the impact it can have on others.

I’m a big advocate for looking after our mental as well as our physical health but admit that on occasion I probably don’t give ‘me’ the time and relevant MOT checks I probably should. I did a Psychology related degree (it was actually Psychology and Criminology but that’s for another day) and have always been interested in what makes people tick. I’m an over thinker by my own admission but love the differences in people and how they behave. This has helped me in the workplace by approaching each person as an individual.

Supporting others at work

I’m lucky that I work for an employer that places great emphasis on supporting individuals and their mental health and we regularly see internal and external campaigns on this topic, even supported by Board members. And the workplace is one of the places where I think we should all be a little more aware of others and how they feel. Be kind. Be considerate. That doesn’t mean accepting bad behaviour or under-performance for example, but even in those cases, be a human being.

Maya Angelou once said “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what did, but people will never forget how you made them feel”. I can really relate to this. I’m sure that we all have off days where we are grumpy or take our woes out on others, but by accepting that each of us has the potential to impact how someone else feels, means that we could all do with checking ourselves occasionally, especially at work, where we spend a lot of our time.

People are important

I’ve been in various roles over the last 20 years and more recently I have had the privilege of leading great teams. Every single person in those teams is as important as the next and each of them bring something to the table, irrespective of the project or challenge we face. As I have grown in my role, I have received coaching, mentoring and not just from those more senior either, and I learn something new all the time from the people I work with. Taking each of those small things that we learn and observe in others, can help ensure that we ‘check ourselves’ when thinking about the feelings of others. Here are a few things I’ve learned along the way:

‘Thank you’ – it’s so simple isn’t it? But how many times do you forget to say it? I really value when my boss says thank you. In any shape or form, for something simple or complex, it makes me feel motivated. I feel like I have been noticed. That evening when you worked late. The time you dropped everything to do another powerpoint deck (we love a deck), or when that amazing PA found you a meeting room with 7 minutes to spare. I try to say thank you, as often as I can, to all the great guys and gals I get to work with in my role. It’s important to call out great delivery, or going above and beyond, or simply just doing what they needed to do – even if included dropping everything for another deck! Make sure people hear it too – as individuals or as a team. An email. On a call. When you bump into them in the lift. In a tweet. In the pub. Wherever. But say it, because it has the power to change someone’s day.

‘We, not I’ – I think the worst thing in the world is when someone takes the glory for the work that has been done by many. That’s rubbish! When has anything ever really been done by one person. I call this out a lot. ‘We not I’ is important to me. So many roles require others to help us do what we do, and I can’t do my job without the amazing people I work with. Leaders can lead. Designers can design. Writers can write. But there is always someone in a shape or form, there to help them do it. I try to instil this in others too. A reminder when someone else should have been on the email chain, or in the launch comm. Trying to use this approach to role model to others. Using this philosophy when the great results achieved on a thing that I am down as the ‘leader’ on, are showcased with everyone involved at the heart of it . The importance of team and collaboration in making others feel valued is key for me.

‘Slow down’ – finally, if like me, you run at a million miles an hour; remember that not everyone can run at your pace. Slow down. Who wants to feel like they can’t catch up or that they need to operate like you do. I find people are often really receptive to being told to slow down, me included. And yes they need reminding sometimes, but definitely tell them. Then they can adapt their approach to make you feel part of the journey (I hate that word, so I promise not to ‘journey’ too much in this blog).  I was once mentored by a lovely woman called Becky (she will know who she is if she reads this) and she taught me something really valuable. Now, do I always stick to it? No, probably not, and I am definitely improving; but I try to send less emails in the evening. So what, I hear you say. She told me that sending emails late, especially to those more junior, can make them feel like they have to reply. Putting them under pressure. It’s true. I feel it myself occasionally. So now, I send emails in the evening to those I know are expecting something or will be online late because that pattern works for them, but I tend to draft my emails and then send first thing.

Now I’m not saying that me not sending a late email or using the term ‘we’ in all my team meetings brings out the smiles in everyone – that’s not what I mean and I’d definitely need to get over myself if I did! I guess I’m saying think of others. Adapt, to help others. Do the little things that you know will make even the tiniest difference to one person. No, of course we won’t be able to do it all the time – the proverbial hits the fan occasionally – but a few little things, could mean that you’re ‘the reason someone smiles today’.

However, there is, of course, always a really easy way to make someone smile, in or out of the workplace – cake! Works every time.

Mental Health Awareness Week 18-24 May 2020

www.mind.org.uk

www.headstogether.org.uk

www.samaritans.org