That time when a pandemic hit, everything went out the window and we walked.

I mean, where do you even start with this one. On December 31st, 2019, when we were all drinking bubbles and toasting in the new year, did we ever think that the year of 2020 would go down like this?

It has been the strangest of times for me if I’m honest. A permanent state of working from home. A three year old who can’t go to nursery and so is at home with us (while we are working from home – I will soon mention gin!). A Mum who is in isolation and has been now for 10 weeks. Friends and family that we can’t see. Real life examples of friends working close to heart of Covid-19. Emotional and heart wrenching scenarios that require a hug and you can’t even do that.

This virus has affected everyone, everywhere and in so many ways. People have been furloghed, some have lost their jobs or have been unable to work. Many people are angry. At the government. At the people who flout lockdown. And yet, it seems that so many have found a way to relax into a world of simple things. Long walks (oh how we have walked), baking (I am not one of those people by the way), yoga (that either) and now we see a whole new side to people.

Toddlergate

Lockdown life, as we call here at Chez Jennings, has been testing in equal measure. Yes, I know I am very lucky to still have my job, but let me tell you, that working at home with a toddler is a tough gig! In week three at home, Sammy came into a room, where I was on a call with a Partner and one of my team members, shouting “Mummy I want the one with the sperm whale, can I have the sperm whale, Mummmmmmy” – episode 678 of the Octonauts was on. I told the guys on the call I’d be two minutes, turned my camera off and muted my laptop (or so I thought) and said “Sammy, give Mummy a break, I’m on a call here y’know” – and of course he didn’t have a clue what I was on about – but everyone else did when I discovered I hadn’t muted my laptop at all and heard sounds of “we can still hear you”. Now, thankfully, I work for a brilliant firm and we’ve seen cats, dogs, kids, husbands, wives, all in the background of our meetings, but trying to parent and do a job in the same place in the same day, is not something I thought I’d be doing.

Loves me, loves me not…

So we have the juggling act that is parenting and working, now throw in being in the same place as your other half for weeks on end. I love Stu, of course I do, but he would be the first to agree that this hasn’t been easy on our marriage, or our livers (here comes the gin!). At first we said “ok, we can do this, few months in lockdown, how hard can it be”. The first few weeks were ok, we did buy a lot (and drink a lot) of wine, beer, gin, (all of the above), almost like we were on a holiday with a bit of work thrown in. Except, actually, the realisation was that work wasn’t going anywhere and with Sammy at home, this meant me in the office for a lot of the day and him in the office for a lot of the evening – up until midnight some nights. It is tough! He is tired and we have both suffered with the short fuse on occasion. Then remembering to do extra washing of the hands and be safe when venturing out, was a whole new way of living. We live for our holidays. Totally happy working really hard all year to have a trip or two away, so now, filled with the prospect of not getting away, we are faced with the fact we might be in each others pockets for the rest of the year! Eeeek. So we’ve had to talk openly. We’ve had to find a few things we can do for ‘space’. I write and watch trash TV! He walks the dog, does the weekly shop (result), oh and he bakes…..did I mention that? He is the baker, not me.

Dose of perspective

Whilst we can all laugh at the toddler scenarios in this lockdown life, there have also been some heart wrenching moments. A colleague of mine, lost her husband to this awful virus. Herself young and him too, with a young daughter, this was the reality of what we were faced with. How do you move on from something like that? Her bravery and openness has amazed me. Other friends I know have lost loved ones and are carers for others and stories like theirs and that of Colonel Tom and of the amazing key workers and carers, continuing on through this storm, have inspired me. My much needed dose of perspective comes from hearing about all of their bravery.

So in all of this craziness, here is what have I learned about myself, others and life in this lockdown world. What have you learned?

Lockdown learnings

1. I miss the commute (who would have thought that). I liked that time to myself. Reading my emails, calling friends or reading a book. The peace. I often complained about that 90 minute slog, but now I miss it.

2. I appreciate open spaces. We have found some open fields near our house that we didn’t know existed and when the sun shines, they are the perfect walking spot. We have walked and walked and walked. Some weekends, Stu, Sammy and I walk a 5k route, and Sammy only has little legs! We make an effort to do this nearly every day just to get the fresh air (and tire the boy out so he sleeps!).

3. I am much more relaxed about mess! I am a neat freak normally.  But working at home with a three year old has walked all over that and I’m ok with that……really I am…..! I let him trash the house daily. I still tidy every single night for the normality, but every single day he gets it all. out. again.

4. I rely heavily on my family to be part of my life. This time apart from my Mum and Brother has been hard but what a celebration we will have when this is done. Virtual calls are the order of the day now for us. We set Mum up on a laptop and taught her how to use Hangouts and she was off. Even booking herself online shopping slots and all sorts. But I miss her. I miss them. I cannot wait to throw my arms around them……..and book Mum in for a week of babysitting!

5. I feel gratitude much more now than ever. Grateful to be healthy. To have a job. To work for a great employer. To have wonderful team mates who are flexible every day whilst I juggle parenting and working. To have a little boy who loves the simple things in life like throwing stones in a river. To have brilliant WhatsApp groups full of good friends, that have kept the humour. Grateful to wonderful neighbours who have rallied around and made the effort to get to know all of us, now that we are all at home more. Grateful for video calls and virtual quizzes (who would have thought?!). Mostly, I am also grateful that my husband is a saint!!

A few weeks ago, a colleague of mine asked how I was and I replied “Well, my toddler trashes my house every day. I have about 7 headaches come Friday. And I weigh more now than I did when I was full term pregnant with Samuel. Other than that I am peachy”. And, despite a slightly wider waistline, few extra headaches and toddler lego bricks in every corner of my house, I am ok. We are ok. This too shall pass, and what a story we will have to tell.