Career – Life on Marz

When the storm gets rough

February 13, 2021February 13, 2021Marz6 Comments

Remembering that it’s ok to not always be ok.

Hi there, it’s been a while hasn’t it? September was the last time I posted on here and that was a huge milestone for us as Sammy started school. Since then, so much has happened – lockdowns, more lockdowns, a cancelled Christmas, vaccinations, elections (am so thankful Trump has gone), the list goes on. I genuinely didn’t expect us to be here nearly a year on. The storm has certainly raged over that time.

I heard a phrase early on in the first lockdown in March last year which has stuck with me. So many people said that we were all in the ‘same boat’ – but actually we’re not. In the same storm yes absolutely, but not everyone has the same boat. Some have luxury yachts, while others are struggling to keep a dinghy afloat. And that is the reality. The storm too can rage for people in different ways, some pass through it, taking each day as it comes. Others really find the monotony of life tough to handle.

“Being lucky doesn’t mean that it can’t feel tough too”

I felt really hopeful last autumn that this thing that has held us to ransom for the last year, might start to leave us alone. But now as we head into February half term (yep, I’m now that person that talks in school terms), I have a 4 year old at home, again, and the juggle is absolutely real. I am clinging onto the fact that he might be able to go back to school in March, so at least work life can feel more tolerable. There is some light relief somewhere in all of this though. If I tell you that just this last week Sammy joined me on a virtual call with one of my teammates Claire, so that he could show her his herbivore and carnivore dinosaur roars, it wouldn’t be a joke. Now, it certainly gave Claire and I a much needed giggle, but there are also days when I just want to shout. Loudly. I don’t have a reason, I’m lucky and I realise I’m lucky. But being lucky doesn’t mean that it can’t feel tough too.

It felt tough last week, I hit a wall. Full pelt. Head on. I remember thinking that I couldn’t remember what my old life felt like. I questioned my marriage, my work, myself. I have since chatted to friends, work colleagues and Stu and the world already feels very different. The power of talking and teaming are very important for me. But for that moment, that week, it felt bloody hard. I know that this wall presented itself as a result of a very full on and emotional few weeks that preceded. You see, as a marketing team, we were grieving. I was grieving.

“The days and weeks after were heavy”

We’d lost our friend and teammate Jack in January in very tragic circumstances. It floored us all. Our sadness and heartache extended to Liz, also in our team and Jack’s partner. Hands down one of the toughest phone calls I have had to take. The days and weeks after that, including the day he was laid to rest this week, were heavy. There is no manual for this type of thing and so you just operate on gut instinct – well, that’s what I did I guess. Your priority is getting arms around the team, but in a way that doesn’t feel like a corporate boilerplate. For me, I simply had to be me. Show them that I too felt their pain. I hope that they knew very early on from the tears they saw me openly shed, that we are all human.

There was a fleeting moment where I questioned the tears. Is this what ‘the boss’ should be doing in front of her team – our crew as I love to call us. There is a stigma that too often surrounds this concept of leadership and a stiff upper lip. Leadership for me is not about a corporate manual or org charts. It’s about a dialogue between one person and another. It is human and real. I knew very early on when I took this role, that I was going to be me. I wear my heart on my sleeve. I am passionate. And above all else, I care. Being anything other than me would have felt dishonest to me and to the team. You will never please everyone, I understand that, but being authentic will see you a long way.

“Just be yourself and do your best”

People will always have a view of what you should or shouldn’t do, and when faced with that quandary I will always remember a great bit of advice I once heard from that wise man, my Dad – “Don’t worry Bella, just be yourself and do your best” and whenever there is a day when even being yourself and doing your best feels too hard, just remember it’s ok not to feel ok.

Attempting to have it all

September 21, 2020September 21, 2020MarzLeave a comment

When the ‘big deals’ collide

It was an August day when I discovered that life was about to change. I’d been offered a new role at work, a bigger role. And one that would need me to make some choices about the balance in my life.

It was great to be recognised in this way, and it came along when I least expected it. I always strived for ‘excellence’, don’t all marketers? but I used to describe myself as the editor of the book, not the author – ironic really given I am writing this blog! This role would need me to look at how that book and its chapters were structured. It was daunting, but exciting too! I swung from panic to elation in the space of minutes but still I knew that there would be choices to made. And amazing marketing to be delivered.

In addition to this pretty ‘big deal’, we were also approaching that milestone in every toddler’s life – the start of ‘big’ school. I totally underestimated how this start for Sammy, would make me feel. My worries were about his age, would he be ready, would he cry, would he make friends. All those questions that all parents think about. For us, he was about to start school in the middle of a global pandemic, which was daunting enough. But despite all that, I still thought, it’s ok, I can do both.

All of this was then compounded by a spell of quarantine post our holiday to Croatia. I knew it ‘might’ happen, we all did, but I hadn’t planned my work diary around having Sammy back at home! Those calls with toddler interruptions again, weren’t in that window. So, Stu and I rallied together and whilst there some late nights again, we made it work.

The ‘arrrgh’ moment

It then happened, the moment of realisation, the moment where you think, oh, this is a lot. A lot of ‘big deals’ all happening at once. No, none of them life threatening of course, but a lot of tabs open in my brain all at once. The stamping of the uniform to questions about budget and plans, all happened in the space of one day. The 135 WhatsApp’s from friends that I hadn’t been able to digest. I knew I would need to quickly decide on where I was going to focus my time and be ok with letting other things get parked. I am lucky, I have a great husband who just got on with it. Washing got done. Dinner got made. Not a single complaint. Until the night where he said to me – as he passed me the cheesy beans on toast for dinner in our home office – “come on now, find your balance”. We call this the red line at work. I was over-stepping the red line and I had only been in role for 5 minutes.

The reason that this is important to me is because I want to role model to my team. All 115 of them. I want them to know that you can do well at work and be a parent (in my case) and a wife and get a workout in too. I can’t be sending emails at ridiculous hours or missing bedtime every night. Occasionally that is ok, but not every day.

To help me in this place of ‘big deals’, I looked at how I wanted to lead. Lead in uncertain and unprecedented times (most used phrases of 2020 there). How did I want people to see me. How did I want them to feel working alongside me. Despite this collision, what was going to be the constant. I was clear on one thing – this was most definitely about ‘how’. There will always be times when it feels hard, or tough. Confusing or pressured. But there will be way more times where it feels exciting, ambitious, excellent and an absolute blast. And I don’t just mean at work. Having the balance of all of those things, both at work and at home, allow you to manage the ‘big deals’. Manage them when they collide and when you least expect it.

The ‘how’

So, this ‘how’ I talk of, it is fairly simple to me. I want to stand for a few core values and have those around me feel those values when they work with me. For those things to be consistent with my teams and business stakeholders. Some may ask, why have I been so honest and open. I know many of the people I work with will read this. Strangers will read this. For me it is about being transparent and authentic. You can still be a leader and have a heart.

So, whilst I navigate the new role, big school and the pandemic, I made the decision to focus on a few key attributes, important me to in the workplace, that would be my north star when the crazy times decided to hit.

Listening to understand – I used to always be so quick to jump in with a view or a reply. When do we take the time to really understand what is being said?
Emphasising the importance of ‘why?’ – this is so key to any marketer. Why do we want to do it that way? Constructive and credible challenge is key to healthy discussion about the value marketing brings to any business.
Simplifying the overcomplicated – if there is a simpler route, not necessarily easy route, that gives us the same result, or better, let’s do it.
Being authentic over everything – be yourself. Wear your heart on your sleeve, but be polite, professional and constructive. Give others a sneak peek of who you are as a person. Inspire others. But be authentic. We are all human beings at the end of the day.

And what of this ‘attempting to have it all’ – I’d say you can have what you’re able to carry. That varies for everyone. But what we all have in abundance is choice. Choice about what we carry and how we carry it.

For now, the bag I’m carrying has a healthy dose of career, family, friends, the odd workout and a gin for good measure.

Life, love and lockdown!

May 23, 2020May 23, 2020MarzLeave a comment

That time when a pandemic hit, everything went out the window and we walked.

I mean, where do you even start with this one. On December 31st, 2019, when we were all drinking bubbles and toasting in the new year, did we ever think that the year of 2020 would go down like this?

It has been the strangest of times for me if I’m honest. A permanent state of working from home. A three year old who can’t go to nursery and so is at home with us (while we are working from home – I will soon mention gin!). A Mum who is in isolation and has been now for 10 weeks. Friends and family that we can’t see. Real life examples of friends working close to heart of Covid-19. Emotional and heart wrenching scenarios that require a hug and you can’t even do that.

This virus has affected everyone, everywhere and in so many ways. People have been furloghed, some have lost their jobs or have been unable to work. Many people are angry. At the government. At the people who flout lockdown. And yet, it seems that so many have found a way to relax into a world of simple things. Long walks (oh how we have walked), baking (I am not one of those people by the way), yoga (that either) and now we see a whole new side to people.

Toddlergate

Lockdown life, as we call here at Chez Jennings, has been testing in equal measure. Yes, I know I am very lucky to still have my job, but let me tell you, that working at home with a toddler is a tough gig! In week three at home, Sammy came into a room, where I was on a call with a Partner and one of my team members, shouting “Mummy I want the one with the sperm whale, can I have the sperm whale, Mummmmmmy” – episode 678 of the Octonauts was on. I told the guys on the call I’d be two minutes, turned my camera off and muted my laptop (or so I thought) and said “Sammy, give Mummy a break, I’m on a call here y’know” – and of course he didn’t have a clue what I was on about – but everyone else did when I discovered I hadn’t muted my laptop at all and heard sounds of “we can still hear you”. Now, thankfully, I work for a brilliant firm and we’ve seen cats, dogs, kids, husbands, wives, all in the background of our meetings, but trying to parent and do a job in the same place in the same day, is not something I thought I’d be doing.

Loves me, loves me not…

So we have the juggling act that is parenting and working, now throw in being in the same place as your other half for weeks on end. I love Stu, of course I do, but he would be the first to agree that this hasn’t been easy on our marriage, or our livers (here comes the gin!). At first we said “ok, we can do this, few months in lockdown, how hard can it be”. The first few weeks were ok, we did buy a lot (and drink a lot) of wine, beer, gin, (all of the above), almost like we were on a holiday with a bit of work thrown in. Except, actually, the realisation was that work wasn’t going anywhere and with Sammy at home, this meant me in the office for a lot of the day and him in the office for a lot of the evening – up until midnight some nights. It is tough! He is tired and we have both suffered with the short fuse on occasion. Then remembering to do extra washing of the hands and be safe when venturing out, was a whole new way of living. We live for our holidays. Totally happy working really hard all year to have a trip or two away, so now, filled with the prospect of not getting away, we are faced with the fact we might be in each others pockets for the rest of the year! Eeeek. So we’ve had to talk openly. We’ve had to find a few things we can do for ‘space’. I write and watch trash TV! He walks the dog, does the weekly shop (result), oh and he bakes…..did I mention that? He is the baker, not me.

Dose of perspective

Whilst we can all laugh at the toddler scenarios in this lockdown life, there have also been some heart wrenching moments. A colleague of mine, lost her husband to this awful virus. Herself young and him too, with a young daughter, this was the reality of what we were faced with. How do you move on from something like that? Her bravery and openness has amazed me. Other friends I know have lost loved ones and are carers for others and stories like theirs and that of Colonel Tom and of the amazing key workers and carers, continuing on through this storm, have inspired me. My much needed dose of perspective comes from hearing about all of their bravery.

So in all of this craziness, here is what have I learned about myself, others and life in this lockdown world. What have you learned?

Lockdown learnings

1. I miss the commute (who would have thought that). I liked that time to myself. Reading my emails, calling friends or reading a book. The peace. I often complained about that 90 minute slog, but now I miss it.

2. I appreciate open spaces. We have found some open fields near our house that we didn’t know existed and when the sun shines, they are the perfect walking spot. We have walked and walked and walked. Some weekends, Stu, Sammy and I walk a 5k route, and Sammy only has little legs! We make an effort to do this nearly every day just to get the fresh air (and tire the boy out so he sleeps!).

3. I am much more relaxed about mess! I am a neat freak normally. But working at home with a three year old has walked all over that and I’m ok with that……really I am…..! I let him trash the house daily. I still tidy every single night for the normality, but every single day he gets it all. out. again.

4. I rely heavily on my family to be part of my life. This time apart from my Mum and Brother has been hard but what a celebration we will have when this is done. Virtual calls are the order of the day now for us. We set Mum up on a laptop and taught her how to use Hangouts and she was off. Even booking herself online shopping slots and all sorts. But I miss her. I miss them. I cannot wait to throw my arms around them……..and book Mum in for a week of babysitting!

5. I feel gratitude much more now than ever. Grateful to be healthy. To have a job. To work for a great employer. To have wonderful team mates who are flexible every day whilst I juggle parenting and working. To have a little boy who loves the simple things in life like throwing stones in a river. To have brilliant WhatsApp groups full of good friends, that have kept the humour. Grateful to wonderful neighbours who have rallied around and made the effort to get to know all of us, now that we are all at home more. Grateful for video calls and virtual quizzes (who would have thought?!). Mostly, I am also grateful that my husband is a saint!!

A few weeks ago, a colleague of mine asked how I was and I replied “Well, my toddler trashes my house every day. I have about 7 headaches come Friday. And I weigh more now than I did when I was full term pregnant with Samuel. Other than that I am peachy”. And, despite a slightly wider waistline, few extra headaches and toddler lego bricks in every corner of my house, I am ok. We are ok. This too shall pass, and what a story we will have to tell.

‘Be the reason someone smiles today’

May 23, 2020May 23, 2020Marz2 Comments

People always remember how you made them feel.

This picture hangs in my office at home and in this Mental Health Awareness week, it reminded me of the importance of our behaviour in the workplace and the impact it can have on others.

I’m a big advocate for looking after our mental as well as our physical health but admit that on occasion I probably don’t give ‘me’ the time and relevant MOT checks I probably should. I did a Psychology related degree (it was actually Psychology and Criminology but that’s for another day) and have always been interested in what makes people tick. I’m an over thinker by my own admission but love the differences in people and how they behave. This has helped me in the workplace by approaching each person as an individual.

Supporting others at work

I’m lucky that I work for an employer that places great emphasis on supporting individuals and their mental health and we regularly see internal and external campaigns on this topic, even supported by Board members. And the workplace is one of the places where I think we should all be a little more aware of others and how they feel. Be kind. Be considerate. That doesn’t mean accepting bad behaviour or under-performance for example, but even in those cases, be a human being.

Maya Angelou once said “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what did, but people will never forget how you made them feel”. I can really relate to this. I’m sure that we all have off days where we are grumpy or take our woes out on others, but by accepting that each of us has the potential to impact how someone else feels, means that we could all do with checking ourselves occasionally, especially at work, where we spend a lot of our time.

People are important

I’ve been in various roles over the last 20 years and more recently I have had the privilege of leading great teams. Every single person in those teams is as important as the next and each of them bring something to the table, irrespective of the project or challenge we face. As I have grown in my role, I have received coaching, mentoring and not just from those more senior either, and I learn something new all the time from the people I work with. Taking each of those small things that we learn and observe in others, can help ensure that we ‘check ourselves’ when thinking about the feelings of others. Here are a few things I’ve learned along the way:

‘Thank you’ – it’s so simple isn’t it? But how many times do you forget to say it? I really value when my boss says thank you. In any shape or form, for something simple or complex, it makes me feel motivated. I feel like I have been noticed. That evening when you worked late. The time you dropped everything to do another powerpoint deck (we love a deck), or when that amazing PA found you a meeting room with 7 minutes to spare. I try to say thank you, as often as I can, to all the great guys and gals I get to work with in my role. It’s important to call out great delivery, or going above and beyond, or simply just doing what they needed to do – even if included dropping everything for another deck! Make sure people hear it too – as individuals or as a team. An email. On a call. When you bump into them in the lift. In a tweet. In the pub. Wherever. But say it, because it has the power to change someone’s day.

‘We, not I’ – I think the worst thing in the world is when someone takes the glory for the work that has been done by many. That’s rubbish! When has anything ever really been done by one person. I call this out a lot. ‘We not I’ is important to me. So many roles require others to help us do what we do, and I can’t do my job without the amazing people I work with. Leaders can lead. Designers can design. Writers can write. But there is always someone in a shape or form, there to help them do it. I try to instil this in others too. A reminder when someone else should have been on the email chain, or in the launch comm. Trying to use this approach to role model to others. Using this philosophy when the great results achieved on a thing that I am down as the ‘leader’ on, are showcased with everyone involved at the heart of it . The importance of team and collaboration in making others feel valued is key for me.

‘Slow down’ – finally, if like me, you run at a million miles an hour; remember that not everyone can run at your pace. Slow down. Who wants to feel like they can’t catch up or that they need to operate like you do. I find people are often really receptive to being told to slow down, me included. And yes they need reminding sometimes, but definitely tell them. Then they can adapt their approach to make you feel part of the journey (I hate that word, so I promise not to ‘journey’ too much in this blog). I was once mentored by a lovely woman called Becky (she will know who she is if she reads this) and she taught me something really valuable. Now, do I always stick to it? No, probably not, and I am definitely improving; but I try to send less emails in the evening. So what, I hear you say. She told me that sending emails late, especially to those more junior, can make them feel like they have to reply. Putting them under pressure. It’s true. I feel it myself occasionally. So now, I send emails in the evening to those I know are expecting something or will be online late because that pattern works for them, but I tend to draft my emails and then send first thing.

Now I’m not saying that me not sending a late email or using the term ‘we’ in all my team meetings brings out the smiles in everyone – that’s not what I mean and I’d definitely need to get over myself if I did! I guess I’m saying think of others. Adapt, to help others. Do the little things that you know will make even the tiniest difference to one person. No, of course we won’t be able to do it all the time – the proverbial hits the fan occasionally – but a few little things, could mean that you’re ‘the reason someone smiles today’.

However, there is, of course, always a really easy way to make someone smile, in or out of the workplace – cake! Works every time.

Mental Health Awareness Week 18-24 May 2020